6 Rules for Respectful and Intentional Social Media Use

I made my Facebook account in 2009 during my sophomore year of high school. Right now, I’m guilty of the likes, shares, comments, and posts that make me cringe. Over time, I learned things about social media I wish I’d known sooner. It’s not that we shouldn’t use social media. It’s about being intentional with its usage.

These days, we easily give away our thoughts and personal details that we forget that the details and posts stay forever on the internet. In effect, how we behave online shapes our reputation.

That’s why I’ll share the 6 simple social media rules I adhere:

Social media might be considered by others as a tool to get connected, while others consider it as a way to attract attention for themselves from the public. When you vent online, you’ll turn your one problem into many, as you invite commentary, gossip, and unsolicited advice. These posts outlive your mood, can be screenshotted, and are easy to misread later.

The best way to do is not to post it, but rather process and find solutions of your problem offline. Don’t do anything online when you’re at the peak of your emotions. If you’re angry or upset, put your phone down, breathe, drink some water, step outside, sleep on it, and pray. Also, talk to someone you trust or journal it. When you’re calmed down, you’ll be able to think clearly and would think twice if you still want to share what you felt on social media.

Branding isn’t just for companies or products. It applies to people, too. For humans, branding is not about flaunting what you own, chasing titles, or wearing certain colors. It’s how others perceive you with your values, skills, and behavior over time. It might be the pattern others notice like how you show up, how you treat people, and whether you follow through.

Mention Vico Sotto and many would describe an honest, trustworthy, and role model public servant. When someone talks about Audrey Hepburn, you picture timeless elegance. The same principle applies to us when we behave online, that is to act consistently with our values, then our reputation follows.

Because of this, it applies to everything we do online. Before, I wasn’t aware of this as I usually share memes and react to posts that didn’t reflect who I am. Now, I pause and ask if it aligns with my values. Everything we do not just on social media, but on the internet, leaves a digital footprint. People can search on it and take screenshots. Hence, it lives forever. That trail can shape our careers and opportunities, either opening doors or closing them.

I’ve been the type of person who used to capture almost everything just so I could post it on social media. Frankly speaking, many of us, often without realizing share on social media to show off rather than to connect.

While everyone broadcasting their life moments has become ubiquitous, privacy is still priceless and underrated. It’s better keep some things for yourself and let people wonder a little about you, than to live your life as a performance on social media. As I’ve been valuing privacy since 2022, my present self has been thankful that I decided to have my most personal moments stay personal.

I’d rather share my life updates in person with those who know me than have acquaintances approach me, just because they saw my post. It feels awkward and a bit cringey to have others you don’t know personally, know about your private life. Sharing it in-person (or in a private chat) is better as it gives context, protects my privacy, and keeps my life from turning into a content.

Before posting or doing anything on social media, remember the acronym THINK: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, or Kind?

If it doesn’t answer a yes in any of these five acronyms, it’s better not to post it. Unfortunately, most posts don’t pass the THINK test.

If more of us made it second nature to think of THINK, these social media platforms would likely see less users, less engagement, and less profit, because we’d post less noise and share only what matters.

I hope we remember that social media algorithms make money from our activities. That’s why you don’t have to feed them with these data.

I’ve shared in my other post how social media contributed to my eating disorder habits for 15 years. During my 20s, smartphones have been a thing, so as the usage of social media.

Back when I was a heavy user of the Instagram platform, I would get jealous of how other people would have a beautiful and aesthetic wall of pictures in their profile. So, when I would post a picture, I would edit the colors using Lightroom or carefully select a picture that hid my unflattering angles. I wasn’t just sharing a moment. I was presenting a version of myself that I wanted others to see. Looking back, I realize how much effort I put into crafting that illusion and all for a fleeting sense of approval.

What you see online is not the entire story. People choose what to share and often presenting an idealized version of their lives. Filters, captions, and selective posting can make even the most ordinary moments appear extraordinary. We rarely see people posting their struggles and the lowest moments of their lives.

So, it’s unfair to compare your everyday life to someone else’s highlight reel. You’re only seeing a fraction of their reality.

6. Respect your child’s privacy.

If you have children and will have one in the future, value their privacy by not posting them on social media. You’ll never know what their values and reactions will be when they grow up knowing that their faces are posted early on the internet without their consent.

Treat their image and information as theirs and not yours to broadcast. I don’t have a child yet, but I vowed even at this point to respect his or her privacy which shouldn’t be shared online.

Babies, toddlers, and kids can’t make a consent, unlike for adults. As these kids grow, they also evolve with their values, boundaries, and comfort levels. A cute post today can feel exposing or embarrassing later and as what I’ve mentioned above, the internet has a long memory. Once it’s out there, you can’t pull it back.

Think beyond likes or entertainment. Public posts create a searchable trail tied to their name, face, school, and routines. That trail can invite unwanted attention from pedophiles, fuel teasing, or simply take away their right to decide what parts of their life are “public.”

Protecting their privacy also builds trust as they’ll be likelier to share with you if they know you won’t share with everyone else. Your child’s story should be theirs to publish when they’re ready.

Here are some practical guardrails you might want to implement:

Default to not posting their pictures. Instead, share their milestones privately with printed pictures in albums, just like how our parents did it in the 80s and 90s.
If you do share, blur out or cover the face. Also, omit the locations, uniforms, schedules, full names, and medical information.
Ask permission to your child first once they’re old enough to understand.
If you’ve shared something in the past, audit old posts and delete what no longer feels right.