Photo by Kaboompics.com and edited with AI to show Philippine peso bills.

“Christmas felt different before.”

I often hear this from people I know and read similar sentiments online. The meaning behind this is subjective. It can mean that they’re missing the people who used to be there before or remembering Christmas as a child before we hustle for the bills.

Yet, there’s one change that deserves a closer look. Christmas now feels that we’re expected to buy and spend more. There’s a mandatory gift for every gathering, a new outfit for a themed party, new decorations because last year’s theme is not anymore a trendy one, and a wide array of meals just so we can show off something on social media.

There is nothing wrong with giving gifts, sharing food, or holding parties that bring people together as these are meaningful parts of Christmas, but societal pressures can push us beyond what we can afford or comfortably manage. This can strain our finances and mental health, while excess purchases and waste add to the environmental cost.

So, why do we feel pressured to spend more during Christmas? What does it cost our finances, mental health, and the environment? Lastly, how can we celebrate more intentionally while keeping the traditions we enjoy?

Was Christmas really simpler before?

You might hear our parents and grandparents talk about how their Christmas celebrations were different from ours today. For some, it was just a simple family dinner or Noche Buena after attending midnight Mass. There were no Christmas decorations around the table, photos on social media showing how people celebrated with their families, three-day sales in malls, or shopping vouchers on e-commerce platforms like Shopee, Lazada, and Shein.

What has changed is how the internet, social media, and online shopping are now at our fingertips. According to University of Arkansas family life specialist Brittney Schrick, social media exposes people to strangers’ gift hauls and products they might never otherwise have wanted or known about. When posts about gifts and product hauls are everywhere during the holidays, we’re bombarded with what other people are buying and receiving. Back then, the gifts we saw were mostly those exchanged among friends and family during gatherings or received from our Secret Santas/Kris Kringles. Now, we’re constantly shown what we should expect to receive, creating unrealistic expectations.

Even when the mall culture in the Philippines started in the mid-1980s, Christmas celebrations are focused on spending time with friends and family. The ads we saw promoting products and experiences were on televisions or in magazines. There was less pressure to compare our celebrations with others’ or compete with anyone.

Today, algorithms on social media and online shopping platforms dictate what we should have and buy. Shopping reaches consumers directly through their phones. Shopee and Lazada use payday sale countdowns, free shipping vouchers, and checkout notifications to encourage quick decisions. Short-form product reviews and live selling draw us in and hold our attention. Instead of asking whether we need those items, we begin asking whether we will regret missing the deal. Eventually, the discounts and offers become the reason to buy.

Lastly, we may not have realized how our circumstances have changed. As children, we enjoyed Christmas and looked forward to receiving gifts from our parents, classmates, and godparents. We celebrated without knowing how much it cost or who worked to make it happen. Now, as adults, we are the ones planning, paying the bills, and spending money to make the celebration happen. We feel nostalgic for a time when Christmas seemed simpler without the pressure to compare.

Why is there that need to keep up during Christmas?

In a 2024 article, Dr. Byungdoo Kim from King’s College London explains how social comparison and fear of missing out (FOMO) encourage Christmas spending. Yes, we’re still talking about social media as a culprit. He explains that pictures of elaborate celebrations can make our own preparations feel inadequate. Our feeds become flooded with images of lavish celebrations, extravagant gifts, and picture-perfect family gatherings which creates an unspoken standard for what an ideal Christmas should look like.

I haven’t been active on social media for over three years and this is one reason I stay off it during the holidays. I’m genuinely happy for those people because they deserve those things and experiences, but let’s face the reality. As humans, we can still feel inadequate and that’s something I don’t want to feel during the happiest time of the year.

Then there are the social and capitalist aspects. Corporations and credit card/financing companies exploit Filipino values and take advantage of the consumers. These corporate giants employ marketing experts who know how to tap into consumers’ emotions. By September, Christmas messages such as “You deserve this,” “Para sa pamilya mo ito,” and “Celebrate now, pay later” are ubiquitous. Taking on debt or using buy now, pay later (BNPL) services to achieve a certain aesthetic has become normalized.

Then there are the people we care about. A ninong (godfather) or ninang (godmother) may worry about disappointing an inaanak (godchild). An employee may feel awkward declining another exchanging of gifts or an invitation to a themed party. A relative who usually hosts may struggle to suggest a smaller gathering.

These are situations some people face and not rules about every Filipino family. Traditions can be generous and comforting. The difficulty starts when participation requires spending more than someone can comfortably afford.

As I write this post, I’m also reading The Art of Spending Money by Morgan Housel. In the chapter “Look at Them,” he writes:

Being motivated by what others have can be fun. Their success is like an effective form of advertising for this you didn’t know existed. But being envious of others is mental torture, like a contract you’ve made with yourself to be miserable.

Taking inspiration from someone or an event is different from keeping up with the Joneses. As the author also said, FOMO is one of the most dangerous financial reactions that exist. When we act out of FOMO and try to keep up with others during the holidays, we let a highlight reel or a picture on our feeds guide our emotions and financial decisions instead of thinking critically for ourselves. We are enslaved by our emotions and have lost a sense of freedom and independence. What we see is only a small part of someone’s life. We don’t know whether they were in a fragile emotional or financial state when those celebratory pictures and videos were taken.

What overconsumption during Christmas looks like.

Christmas overconsumption means buying more than we can reasonably use or spending beyond what we can afford.

Some of this spending begins with good intentions. However, without considering what is enough, these choices can leave us with more than we need and less money for other priorities.

Gift giving is one example. Buying several inexpensive items can feel generous, especially when platforms like Shopee, Lazada, and Shein offer discounts, vouchers, and free shipping. But a gift’s usefulness matters more than the number of items given. Will the recipient use it? Does it suit their interests? Or are we buying it mainly for the sake of giving something this Christmas?

A carefully chosen, well-made item that lasts for years or adds value to a person’s life is a better gift than several cheap gifts that break easily. Still, a higher price does not guarantee quality.

Overconsumption can also happen within our budget. Someone may comfortably afford new decorations every year, but replacing a usable set still creates demand for more products and leaves existing ones without a purpose. Being able to pay for something does not always mean it adds value to our Christmas celebration.

Likewise, Filipinos usually budget for gifts and food for Noche Buena (Christmas Eve) and Media Noche (New Year’s Eve), but often forget to account for other expenses, such as outfits, makeup, and transportation for themed company parties, higher electricity and other utility bills in December, and unexpected holiday expenses.

During gatherings and reunions, household size and the number of guests affect what a celebration costs. A large meal shared and enjoyed by many people is different from food prepared or bought mainly to make the table look abundant on social media, only to be thrown away afterward.

That’s why it helps to consider whether our spending fits our budget and serves the people celebrating or mainly satisfies an expectation to provide more.

The financial costs last after Christmas.

For some Filipino employees, their 13th-month pay is already spent before they receive it. As soon as the ber months begin, they look forward to this much-awaited payment. Yet, by the time it arrives, little may be left for Christmas because most of it goes toward credit card balances. Extra seasonal pay and holiday promotions can also encourage impulse buying.

For someone who overspends, the consequences can continue into January and, unfortunately, the rest of the year. Installments still need to be paid, savings used for gifts are no longer available for emergencies, and regular expenses continue whether the Christmas budget lasted or not.

That’s why, before making a purchase, it’s worth asking whether we can afford it while still covering our expenses after Christmas.

The environmental impact during Christmas

The surge in consumption during Christmas also has an environmental impact through increased waste and the use of natural resources.

Businesses and corporate giants work to meet this demand through marketing, global supply chains, and economic structures which drive holiday consumption behind the scenes. A toy factory in China will use more electricity to keep its facilities running longer. Trucks and ships used by logistics companies burn more fuel and emit more carbon dioxide as they transport the items we ordered online.

For individuals, the impact is visible in discarded gift wrappers, plastic packaging, party decorations, printed tarpaulins, and food waste. Yes, party decorations are fun and look good in pictures, but after the celebrations end, single-use plastics become waste. When these items end up in landfills, they add to the burden on the Philippines’ poorly maintained waste management systems.

How to celebrate Christmas without overconsuming

1. Make a budget for expenses during Christmas, New Year, and by January.

When we receive our long-awaited 13th-month pay, it’s easy to forget that regular expenses continue through the holidays. Ensure to set aside money for regular bills, essential expenses, and existing repayments before deciding what is available for Christmas and New Year. Include an allowance for miscellaneous costs, such as transportation and party contributions.

A spreadsheet can help us list Christmas and New Year expenses. It gives us a clearer picture of the total cost and how it compares with the money we actually have.

Bottom line is to spend only what you can afford and avoid charging purchases to your credit card that will leave you with bills you cannot comfortably pay in January.

2. Agree on gift expectations before shopping

When planning a party or gathering, suggest drawing names for Secret Santa or Kris Kringle instead of buying a gift for every adult. At the same time, agree on a shared price limit. To reduce costs further, you can also agree to skip the exchanging of gifts

3. Reuse the Christmas decorations you already own

Bring out the same tree, parol, and ornaments each year. Rearrange them if you want a change, and repair what can be repaired safely by checking Christmas lights and cords before reusing them.

Familiar decorations can become part of a family’s memories. Our homes do not need a new theme that’s trending on Instagram or TikTok to feel part of this year’s celebration. After the holidays, store the items carefully so they remain usable next Christmas.

4. Consider buying from small businesses

If you are buying food and gifts, consider a local baker, caterer, artist, or service provider. Order early and respect the seller’s prices and lead times.

What I like about buying from small businesses instead of corporate giants and big brands is that we also support the owners’ family income. I also appreciate the relationships these mom-and-pop shops build with their customers and the craftsmanship they prioritize over mass production.

5. Consider time together and gifts that will be used

When buying a gift, be intentional. Ask yourself whether it will be useful or it will add value to the recipient’s life. One of my pet peeves is receiving picture frames, plastic organizers, mugs, towels, or trinkets. I appreciate the person’s gesture, but as I mentioned earlier, it can feel like buying something just for the sake of giving, without considering whether the recipient will use it.

You can look at the person’s social media profile for an idea of what they value or ask a friend or family member about their interests.

You can also consider giving an experience instead of a material item. A gift certificate for a spa, restaurant, local class, or software subscription, may suit someone better and add more value to their life than another object. Useful secondhand items, such as books, board games, and sports equipment, can also be good options when they match the recipient’s preferences.

Bottom line is to keep the gift affordable and practical.

6. Plan the food around the people attending

A potluck can make a party more affordable, with each guest bringing a dish to share. During planning, confirm the guest count and coordinate dishes so several people do not bring the same food. Think beyond the party by preparing suitable storage and containers for leftovers.

Reducing waste starts with planning purchases and preparation. Nobody needs to eat beyond comfortable fullness to prevent food from being thrown away.

7. Pause before buying because of a sale

For nonessential purchases, give yourself a cooling-off period of 3-days before checking out. In personal finance, this is called a pause-before-purchase rule. This stops impulse spending and cuts down on buyer’s remorse.

Look at the total cost, including delivery fees and any financing charges. Ask whether you would still want the item without the discount.

For online shopping apps installed on phone, mute or disable the notifications or accounts that repeatedly make your own celebration feel inadequate.

8. Leave time and energy for the celebration itself.

With several parties and gatherings at work, in organizations, and among families, it’s easy to feel burned out. Choose the gatherings you can manage. Remember, you do not have to attend every party, especially if you are not feeling well, the activities do not align with your values, or you feel pressured to attend out of obligation.

Celebrate Christmas that you can comfortably enjoy.

“Christmas felt different before.”

Going back to this sentiment, after reflecting on this, I think part of what we miss is being able to enjoy the celebration without thinking about how it compares with everyone else’s. We cannot return to our childhood or bring back every circumstance that made past Christmas celebrations special. However, we can decide which expectations we carry into the next one.

I still want to give gifts, share food, and celebrate with people I care about. I also want to enjoy those moments without worrying about overspending afterwards or buying things that will barely be used. For me, being intentional means knowing what I value and letting that guide what I spend, give, and make time for.

Before the holiday plans fill up, take a moment to ask: What do I actually look forward to at Christmas? What can I comfortably afford? Which traditions do I want to keep and which expectations can I let go of?

Our answers may look different. What matters is giving ourselves room to celebrate in a way we can enjoy, both during Christmas and the New Year.